Wednesday, December 29, 2010

the hurry


life, it sure gets busy in a hurry.
always looking on to the next big thing.
no slowing down, because the world isn't going to stop spinning for you.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

the blame

it's always easy to point the finger and blame someone else for...your own unhappiness, your own mistakes, your own shortcomings, your own poor choices, or whatever the case may be.

when you are unhappy, it's because someone knocked you off your happy pedestal. when you make mistakes, it's because someone else didn't give you another option. when you recognize your own shortcomings , its because someones else had to be better than you. when we make poor choices we want to justify why we did what we did; like we can right the wrong.

we need to realize we can't change someone else; you can only change yourself. sometimes it's not easy to recognize our own faults and own up to them. in our everyday relationships we come into contact with all types of people, with all different backgrounds. its important to start tuning into our differences and learn to adapt to each other. if everyone could work for the benefit of someones else, we would all be happier. we would be living selflessly. we would be giving. we would be more loving.

we need more:
patience. communication. forgiveness. open hearts. open minds. willingness to do. servant hearts. affection. appreciation. embrace the difference. love.

sounds easy huh?

it shouldn't be so difficult to say "i"m sorry" -- careless words stab like a sword, but the words of wise people bring healing. it seems easy, but this is where all arguments begin and could end, if we were able to own up to the things that are within our control.


so the next time you want to point the finger, point it to the mirror. the change has to begin with you first. and when you change your way of dealing with things you will see the people around you will being to change too.

Friday, December 10, 2010

the reason to try

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."





Sunday, December 5, 2010

Thursday, September 30, 2010

time to grow up



SOME OF US EVOLVE INTO ADULTHOOD MORE GRACEFULLY THAN OTHERS,
AND SOME OF US MAY NEVER GET THERE....


I AM SOMEWHERE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

the moment

I can't even explain it...

I felt alive.
I felt free.
I felt like I could fly.
I felt invincible.
I felt at peace.
I felt content.
I felt unstoppable.
I felt like a superhero.
I felt radiant.
I felt like all my dreams had just come true.
I felt pure joy.
I felt brand new.

It was the most amazing feeling ever! I cried huge tears of happiness. As the tears streamed down my face, they turned all the lights into fireworks, that splashed across the sky. The were highlighting my vision, making magic everywhere I looked, as far as the eye could see.

The world was glowing.

While I was driving in my car the music was soothing to my spirit. The wind blew and kissed my face and dried the tears to my cheeks. As I inhaled the breath of fresh air, I knew I was fully alive and for a moment everything made sense.

I will never forget that moment.


Sunday, September 5, 2010

the person I love


I want the person I fall in love with to have a big heart,

bigger than mine,

big enough to fit all of my heart inside his.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

the dream


I DREAM BIG,
BECAUSE
MY GOD
IS CAPABLE OF
BIG THINGS!

Friday, August 27, 2010

the unexpected

Things can change so quickly, but you have to learn to embrace the unexpected. You have to. Otherwise you will live a life of panic and fear. Who wants to live like that!? Not me. If things change, let them. Something wonderful could come out in the end.

I will keep my head high and hope for the best. I will stay strong in who I am -- and hope my strength will rub off on the people around me, so we can be strong for each other. I believe trials and hardships are a part of life. The true test is if you can rise again after the fall.

Take my hand and look into my eyes and even though I hate goodbyes, they don't have to be forever. You're still there and I'm still here, but if you need a friendly face you can count on me to be there for you, still smiling.

Just because you feel lost doesn't mean I'm not willing to lead. There is a light shining down on you and I, it's leading the way to promises. The kind of promises that can't be broken and the kind of hope that only comes from faith.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Friday, July 30, 2010

the sleepless nights

have you ever lost sleep? precious hours of sleep...because you couldn't stop...thinking?

my impatient mind couldn't stop running.

thinking about nothing in particular...just thinking.

I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't stop fidgeting.

my constant stirring became restless rocking.

then I tried to rock myself to sleep.

I tried to shut my eyes but it didn't take long before they would open...

looking franticly for something...anything to distract my mind from its thinking.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

the night

remember the night when we sat on the rooftop
when we serenaded the silence and watched the street lights burning

remember the night when we slept on a mountain top
when we danced in a parking lot and watched the stars until they faded away

the good memories are hard to forget and the best memories are forever indented in my memory.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

the moments that take your breath away

There is something tranquil and serene about this place. So much beauty and life. It is definitely a spiritual experience to be here in the crisp mountain air, beneath the radiant sun that shines so bright and strong. There is so much wildlife and nature that surrounds you. It is easy to forget about the hustle and bustle of the world outside of this quaint valley. I am surrounded by tall trees and fascinating rock formations. The sight is definitely worth seeing, because it is hard to doubt that the presence of the Lord is alive here.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

the time


time move slowly
i can hardly keep up


Sometimes we feel like it is easy to risk time.
We don't cherish it. We challenge it.
We say to ourselves "I will get there when I get there", "I've got all the time in the world", etc.
We don't realize that seconds are what can make all the difference.

We might not realize how much we risk when we risk our time.
Times is something you can never get back.
Once it is gone...it is gone forever.

We have to use our time wisely...because really it is all we have.
We should want to take advantage of each and every second, every hour, every day.
These moments are precious gifts from God. He is the one who gives us our next breath.

Don't miss your chance to seize the day!






Tuesday, July 13, 2010

the family

When you are with family you learn a lot...like...

when you get old you lose your filter of appropriate things to say.

it is important to watch what you say around a 6 year old because they absorb everything!

just because your 50 years old doesn't mean you still can't waterski.

Tom & Jerry is still just as entertaining as it was when I was a kid.

it doesn't matter how many people are sitting on the same couch there is always room for one more.

...and you start to notice where your own weird quirks come from...

i love my family

Thursday, July 8, 2010

the car named Ruby

Ruby and I met when I was 16 years old.

We have been together for 6 years….

She was my very first car.

Ruby was a big part of my life. I could never forget her because she carries so many memories…

  • Doing donuts in the school parking lot every Wednesday morning before the bell rang.
  • Car surfing in the church parking lot with Ray, Roger, Derek, and Joanna.
  • Blow out tires on the highway!! =P
  • Trips to California with the girls. We only made it to Tonopah and then turned around… lol!
  • The time Yotchie, Darryl and I decided it would be fun to race our cars... and once the cop finally caught up to us he slapped us all with criminal speeding and aggressive driving tickets…we were in the paper the next day…my parents were so proud...jk ;)
  • Getting my tires slashed by this punk kid who was just upset that he got beat up by a girl =) haha!
  • My first car accident with Gus in the high school parking lot…Jen and I thought the ruckus was because we were getting too crunk. Lol!
  • Getting towed in Flagstaff for parking downtown and having to drive out to this car lot at midnight, which reminded me of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and having to talk to some creepy guy with overalls and a missing tooth.
  • The time I drove into central phoenix to pick up Dylan because he was stranded and drive him and his buddy home at 2 a.m.
  • Jen’s wedding day! Filling the passenger seat with my beautiful best friend and her huge wedding dress and driving out to Mesa for the biggest day of her life! <3
  • Talks in my drive away with Roger till 2 am
  • Driving around with Jen everyday of the summer! Making stops at QT so often that we became regulars, driving through Avondale just to see the cobblestone, road trips to Lake Pleasant, and getting hit on by guys driving by. “)
  • Car accident with my neighbor…when she barreled out of her driveway right into me! Ugh!
  • The time I was driving down Sarival and a guy ran his stop sign so I had to swerve to miss his car, then I swerved to miss a light pole (coming within inches of it!), and then my car jumped up on the sidewalk practically in someone’s front yard!
  • Yotchie taking the muffler off my car so it would sound like a race car and then taking it out to the illegal street races! (I was pretty gangster in my younger years! Haha!)
  • Drag racing on with Ray on Sarival and driving on the opposite side of the street.
  • Trips into the woods of Flagstaff, AZ for a bon fire and almost getting my car stuck in the mud.
  • Driving to Macayo’s to teepee Rays car in the parking lot with Jen, but he caught us and chased us around the neighborhood
  • Backing into my grandparent’s car. Ops! They learned their lesson and never parked there again…
  • I was with Yotchie, Jen and David, I attempted to pass a car and an on-coming car was heading straight for us I had to gun-it to make the gap! I thought we were going to die.
  • Jen and I bumping Lil Wayne and all of our other hardcore jams ;)
  • Getting hit on in the McDonalds drive-thru
  • Blizzards in Flagstaff that covered my car!
  • Trips to Scottsdale with the girls to go dancing for Jen’s 18th b-day
  • Yotchie and I finding a cat on the streets and sticking it in my car thinking we could keep it
  • The time the boys came to visit me at work (The UPS Store) and put a heart on my car made out of flowers <3
  • The time Ray broke into my car and trashed it as retaliation …
  • Party hopping in Flagstaff
  • The time Roger threw tomatoes at my car and I drove off furious! lol >:-{
  • Driving around Wildflower with Calvin
  • Late night talks with Pat in his drive way
  • Sitting in the Roseberry parking lot with T and having an intense heart to heart
  • The time Jen broke the mirror cover off so the light is constantly on. Way to go bf!
  • Leaving the radio antenna up while going through a car wash and it broke off...
  • The time someone tried to pick my locks and didn’t succeed, but I couldn't use my passenger side door.
  • My car alarm kept going off and I had no way to turn it off because my dismiss button was broken, so I ended up just cutting the wires.
  • The millions of times I had to jump my car because I accidentally left the lights on :-]
  • Missing my internship because my car wouldn’t start! Later I found out there was a kill switch underneath that I accidentally hit and it made my car shut down.
  • Late night trips to Tempe
  • When Derick stole my car and held it for ransom until I gave him a full bag of Red Jolly Ranchers
  • Driving to 7th Street every week for dance classes.
  • The time Jen and I picked up a hitchhiker =)

This list could go on and on…


Ruby was a great car. She wasn’t in perfect condition and for the 7 years I owned her, she became a little bit more loved on as the years went on. The leather interior was cracked. Her paint had sun spots from the Arizona heat. The tint was bubbling on the back window so you could barely see out of it. To get a CD out of the player you had to turn the windshield wipers on first. Sometimes if she wouldn’t start right away I would have to get out and give her a little kick and then she would be ready to go! ;) She had a dent in the trunk for the longest time and I left it because I thought it added character. She had 140,000+ miles on her and she had definitely seen a lot of the road in her lifetime. She was always up for an adventure and she kept plugging along with me no matter how hard I pushed her to make it up that mountain. She was a trooper!


Ruby, you will be missed, but never forgotten. It sincerely makes me sad to have to say goodbye, but I thank you for being the best first car a kid could have ever asked for! You were there for everything and I will always cherish the memories.


P.S. - if you are reading this post and have any other memories of Ruby, please feel free to comment and add them :)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

the rebel


when we are young, we feel invincible. we feel like nothing can touch us. we act without a second thought and we risk more than we have. sometimes we get pressured and sometimes we act on our own free will. the glory days of our youth, when we thought it was ok to be so reckless and saw no harm in what we are doing. we laughed in the face of danger and dusted ourselves off when we fell. sometimes your friends were there to pick you up when you fell; and sometimes people who you thought were your friends weren't there to catch you. back then we didn't think past the moment. we ran off the adrenaline surging through our veins, and if there was a chance we could get caught it only heightened the thrill. we never stopped to think
about the bigger picture and what our actions could lead to...

those were the good old days

then when we grow up we realize the consequences. sometimes you learn your lessons the hard way and sometimes you get away with it and the lesson catches up with you later. either way you were usually left with a good story. now that you are older, you have to be responsible. the cost is no longer worth the thrill. when you look back on your youthful years, you think to yourself...

when did i get so boring? ;)


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

the challenge


We come across many challenges in our lifetime. Sometime the obstacles seem like mountains that we are unable to climb. And sometimes it is so small, seemingly insignificant.
But even the smallest situation leaves a lingering affect in a persons life.


..."no matter how random the situation may seem, there always is a plan"...

the precious lives that were too young to be taken

Oh Precious Life

By: Me




Having you here with me

Now seems like a distant memory

When I could feel and touch and hold your hand

Oh what I would give to have you back again

That smile, those laughs, your beaming eyes

The room is filled with painful cries

We will never understand why it is you left

But know in our hearts is where your memory is kept

Will you save me a spot up there in heaven

That is when we will be reunited again

Until then I will constantly love and miss you

Because you have been so special to me I will never forget

You...


IN LOVING MEMORY








Monday, June 21, 2010

the summertime



Ah! the sweetness of summer! :)

This has been a fantastic summer so far. I have been able to spend time with some of my dearest friends and family. Just this last week my family spent our family vacation in Orlando, FL. We had a great time at the beach and went to a couple amusement parks. It was a lot of fun and we made a lot of good memories. One memory that was not so exciting was our mission to see the new Harry Potter theme park at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. Mission was an epic fail! The whole day was ridiculous! We got there early and we stood in a line that wrapped all the way around the park for hours. Once in the park it was a mad dash, which also made it difficult because my Dad was in a wheel chair. We finally got in, only to stand and wait in another outrageous line to stand in. It was complete pandaemonium. People everywhere! After waiting in line for close to two hours we got up to the bridge to enter the
"Wizarding World of Harry Potter" and got turned away. They told us that this was no longer an entrance and you had to go all the way around to the other side of the park! At that point the line already was strung out in all directions. It seemed completely crazy to back track and get back in line somewhere else, after we had already wasted two hours of the day. So Casey and I decided to jump on some of the other rides and see if the line would decrease after awhile...no luck. Over the course of an entire afternoon the line stayed consistent and never seemed to diminish. There were some pretty angry people all over the place complaining, even people who had to opportunity to get into Hogwarts to ride the rides and see all the new stuff. Those people were upset because there were so many people inside that you couldn't even enjoy it. The line to get into the shops and gift stores was an hour wait alone. So at the end of the day we didn't even make it to see Harry Potter land. It wasn't worth the wait for us. But we still had fun and made some good memories of our own.
The other days of our trip were good, except for the fact that it rained every afternoon!

It is always funny when we get the family together for our vacations. There are moments when we butt heads a little but there are also moments when we are all laughing hysterically. We are not a perfect family, we don't always get along, we definitely test each others patients and push each others buttons, but we still are able to joke around with each other and be silly.

I am so blessed to have such an amazing family. I am thankful everyday for all that my parents do for our family. I also have an amazing younger brother who is growing up too fast! I would not trade my family for anything in the world. :)




Sunday, June 20, 2010

the way, the truth, and the life


Your talents will take you to where you want to be, but your character is what keeps you there.

God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes He will put you in situations you never expected, situations that can make you uncomfortable and test your willingness to follow God no matter what He places in front of you. It then becomes a choice, loyalty is a decision...will you follow before, during, and after the storm?

There are also times when He reunites you with people from your past, people that have made a great impact on the person you have become. He always has new lessons to teach you. I believe that He brings people together so that we can learn from each other, have fellowship with each other, share our experiences and bring each other strength. He has called us to love one another and become His hands and feet in the world.

This world that we live in is uncertain and constantly changing, but God is eternal and unfailing. He is never changing. He is the same today, tomorrow, and forever. I put all my trust and faith in the one and only God of the universe, because in the end of days He will be the only thing that remains. I will walk all the days of my life for the glory of His kingdom. I will embrace the uncertainty.

I will walk without fear. I fear God and nothing else. I will be willing to lay down my life for the benefit of others and for God's purpose. Anxiously I wait to see where God will take me and how he will use me. Every day is a precious gift and many miracles await.

To reach all that God has in store for my life, I must remain disciplined, determined and focus on His will. I will be strong in prayer and steadfast in my faith. I will use all my time, talents, and treasure to bring more people to know and love the Lord. I want to be a light and shine for all to see.

I want to leave a legacy.

"I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come stand before him?"
Psalm 42:2

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

the skull and the elephant

I took an art class at NAU. I went in knowing nothing about art or painting and came out feeling very accomplished and talented! I'm very proud of my pieces. They still may not be exactly perfect or at all how I pictured them to turn out...but that is kinda how art works...it doesn't always have to be perfect and some time things you didn't mean to do add life and excitement to your work.




The Skull by Brittany Fehr

This is my very first piece...EVER! It is a representation of a still-life that we were given to recreate on a canvas. I had a lot of awesome compliments about my use of vibrant colors and the way unique style I have in capturing light and movement. It made me feel really good to have people say such nice things about my painting, because I became very frustrated with it at the very beginning. I didn't know what to do or where to start. I didn't have a trained eye that could focus on parts of the painting in pieces I felt overwhelmed, but after I put it away and gave myself time to come back to it really started to come to life. Through this first piece I was able to find my style and embrace my unique technique! Even though my skills are still very 'beginner', many people noticed something in my painting that I couldn't see, and their encouragement helped me to continue grow and develop my style as an "artist".




The Elephant by Brittany Fehr

This is my second piece. This is also of a still-life that we were given to recreate. I felt very intimidated at first by this elephant, there was so much detail in his features and his body that I had no idea how to bring all that to life on the canvas. My teacher Franklin Willis helped me by giving me different tools to use and experiment with, this was the end result. At first I hated it and then the more I worked on it the more I liked it...it slowly became more complex than I had ever intended it to be, but I really like it and think it has so great contrast and different elements that make it stand out.

Monday, June 7, 2010

the fresh start


I am a recent college graduate. I just received the most amazing graduation gift…a new car! Her name is Molly, which is short for Hot Tamale, because this car is HOTT! I’m in love with it! =)

I just got a gym membership at LifeTime Fitness and I have been working out almost every single day! I’m starting to watch what I eat and taking better care of myself.

Also, I’m currently redecorating my room, to create my own little place of silent retreat. So far, it looks great! I’m transforming everything around me.

This week I’m buying a new laptop and preparing myself to enter the real world. I’m updating my resume and putting together my portfolio, ready to put my best foot forward and keep walking.

new car, new me, new home, new path…all the components you need for a fresh start.

This is such an exciting place to be in life. All the options open to you and all you have to do is get out there and start makin’ moves! I’m ready! I’m thrilled to see where God takes me and how He will use me. I’m ecstatic to see who He will bring into my life and what ways He will grow me.

Every day is a blessing and I intend to live each day as such.

Friday, June 4, 2010

the life

Life is a journey, constantly changing and never what you expect. You are reminded of the past, confused about the present and scared of the future. Things you never thought would happen to you, end up happening. Memories are kept and cherished and it eases your heart to know you can always count on tomorrow, because tomorrow is a brand new day.

I’m 22 years old. In these 22 years of my life I have been through so much. Experiences I never thought I would have and instances where you say to yourself “this can’t be happening”. I have experienced pure joy and happiness. I have laughed till I cried and spent countless nights with people I love. I have also endured pain and hatred. Those moments that you feel lost, alone and as if nobody cares. I’ve been there...up and down, high and low, strong and weak. God has been my strength through everything!

I’m in my fourth year of college. I’m grateful that I made it this far, but it wasn’t easy to get here. Nobody can really prepare themselves for what life might throw your way, and the adventure is different for everyone.

No story, no chapter, is exactly the same. It is mysteriously beautiful. It is those times in life where you find yourself at a crossroad and you have to make the decision of which way to go. This decision could change everything.


"all you can do is play along at life and hope that sometimes you get it right."

Monday, May 24, 2010

the graduate




"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11



“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be."

“Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.”


"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

“A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.”

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

the best brother in the whole world

Casey (my sweet baby brother),

I love you with my whole heart, more than words could ever express. We are both very protective of each other and would do anything for each other. We have a very special and unique relationship. We have grown up a lot, separately, but also together. You have become one of my best friends and someone that I know I can always count on. You are someone who I can tell my secrets to (and you wont tell mom and dad lol!). I know that you would stand by my side through anything. You would go to battle for me any day and I would do the same for you. We can laugh hysterically about the stupidest stuff...we just get each other. Thank you for being my amazing bigger little brother :).

I love you!

the purest and most simple love a person can ever know

I'm only human, and as a human I'm not perfect. I'm going to make mistakes, I'm going to fail, I'm going to be faced with tough decisions, I'm going to fall short...it is inevitable. But I have a God who loves me. I have a God who forgives. I have a merciful God. I have a God that picks me up when I have fallen down. I'm so thankful for His love and grace on my life.

God and I spoke today

God knows me and He knows my heart! He knows my every wish, He knows my every thought, He know my every move, He knows my every sin. He created me. God gave me the chance to have a relationship with Him, a personal, deep, loving, fulfilling, powerful and trusting relationship. He knows just how to speak to me, He knows how to get my attention, He knows how to quiet me in the middle of all the noise and chaos. I'm grateful for his unconditional love. I'm a broken and sinful person. I have struggles and pains. I'm undeserving and worthless. Still He love me and comes to me in my times of need.

I know that nothing can fill me like the love of Jesus Christ. When I fall into temptation it can not fill me. It is worldly fulfillment that will ALWAYS leave you lost, broken and alone. I don't know why I still fall into the illusions that Satan puts in front of me. I want so hard to be able to reject them and follow the bright and narrow path that God has paved for me, but sometimes I go off the path and try to find my own footsteps in the sand, rather than walking with God's footsteps that are walking right next to me. But...even when I go off the path and try it on my own, God still walks with me, waiting for me to return to Him and continue my walk with Him. I always turn back to Him. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, sovereign and the truth. I want to know and live in the truth. I want to walk in the truth. I want to block out everything that is of this world. I want to fill myself with love; God's
enduring, perfect and unconditional love. The purest and most simplest love a person can ever know. His love is all I need!


"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16


Thursday, May 6, 2010

the Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love

by: Brittany Fehr

I embellish my body, but inside I'm breaking

this ephemeral love, only keeps my heart aching

your intense effrontery only hurts my feelings

I thought you were my counterpart but our two hearts are bleeding

make me quiet, diminish me of my strength

demur my love and watch my hands shake

i try to be furtive and not reveal to much

but my complaisant heart just wasn't strong enough

I consign this broken, burned, tattered, and beaten heart over to you

it's so restive, yet still beating, maybe you'll figure out what to do.